New Type of Pain...

Brief Update: Mom's appointment is Tuesday Morning with the Hopkins surgeon...however, she's been having bouts of pain at night-the exact pain I had when dealing with gall stones. A call has been put in to Hopkins to see if they want to wait until Tuesday (and the gall bladder will be taken out anyway with the Whipple) or if there should be a quicker action taken. She's currently at home-exhausted from a long night of pain and vomiting, and we're just waiting to see what the next step will be....

The End is Just the Beginning....

A lot of you know, and celebrated, the fact that Mom finished her 25 days of radiation and chemo treatment this past Monday! It seemed to go quickly, and Mom is doing so well with it all. A special thanks to the faculty and staff at LCS (especially Mom's co-teacher Denise) who were completely there for her every day as she had to leave work early and head to Howard County....another thanks to my coworkers who were understanding when I was running late because of child care craziness...and of course Daddy-who had to pick up Collin almost every day after school without a break!

Up next...the morning of May 3rd will be bring a cat scan and meeting with the Hopkins doctors to see how the tumor is doing, and hopefully schedule the Whipple surgery in May.

At the same time, I'm getting closer and closer to that magic 37 week number (I'll be 35 on Tuesday)...which means Cameron could come anytime between Mother's Day and the end of May! This past Saturday brought a routine NST, which turned into a "hey, you're having contractions..(I AM!?)" to pushing loads of fluids and lots of tests...just dehydrated, but it made it a little more real for me. They had ordered bed rest, but I will be the first to say, that it's not happening right now, but I'm resting when i can on the weekends, and drinking lots of water. Steve and I had the added stress of all the budget stuff, since he's a government employee, and we're thankful that he can still work right now....

I think we're all having a lesson in trust right now...none of us are sure how this is all going to work in May-between the surgery and the birth...I've already put out pleas for help when it comes to watching Collin-In case my parents are out of commission, and Steve and I have to head to the hospital....And no one knows what would be harder-surgery first...birth later...birth first...surgery later....and then those less important but still wondering questions...would I rather have Cam before Collin's 1st? After? On the day!? (Hopefully not on the day...)...and we'd at least like to have a small get together to celebrate Collin's 1st...I guess in June...As I said-silly questions and thoughts-but this is what's been going on in our heads and out loud between Mom and I.

I think the worst part is the fact that Mom is doing SO WELL-and we know that once the surgery occurs, she'll be out of commission...in pain...learning a new way of life. Right now we can almost forget about the cancer, but the surgery will make it so much more real-and make it hard for all involved. We'll be losing our Mom for a bit, and that's going to be hard...but we're trying to focus on the fact that we'll have her around much longer because of this surgery!

Prayer Requests:

-Biggie-We know the docs aren't feeling the tumor anymore, but prayers that the Cat Scan confirms this

-We know God's timing is perfect, but we'd like a little assurance that all the dates will work together...

-That Mom's fears of the surgery will be calmed

-That I safely make it until full term

-That we'll have enough support with helping with Collin, especially middle of the night hours!

-That Dad will make it until the end of his last year of teaching...ha! Yay Dad!

The Face of Cancer....

It's funny...you have this picture of someone battling cancer in your head. If it's a women, she's usually thin and weak, with a scarf covering what's remaining of her hair-the battle scars from a hard fought battle with chemo and radiation, and the invading tumors. But now? Now I know there's another face of cancer out there. It's strong and beautiful, and you would have a hard time believing that this woman has been through almost 25 sessions of chemo and radiation. That there's a tumor inside of her, invading her pancreas. It's the face of someone who knows that God is in complete control of her health. That when she meets with doctors, they are shocked with her appearance, because she looks so...healthy. It's the face of someone who was just told today by the chemo doctor that he NO LONGER could feel the tumor. That it has shrunk. Or maybe...it's gone? Nothing is too big for our God. Yes. THIS is the new face of cancer. And I love her and appreciate her more every day.