Today was a frustrating day for all involved. Perhaps it had to do with the fact that even though Mom has been feeling great these past couple of days, the reality and seriousness of cancer began to sink in, as the doctor at Howard County went over facts and figures and treatment plans. Perhaps it was because our normally well behaved and happy child is going through teething which turns him into a little monster...or perhaps because my pain levels have risen today, even though I too have been feeling much better with the physical therapy or that I failed that stupid glucose test by 3 lousy points, and therefore have to take a three hour test for what my doctor says is "probably nothing". Yeah, can you tell that we're all a little frustrated right now?
Back to Mom...she had a long scan today, where they put stickers on her body that will help line her up for each radiation treatment (they'll stay in place through the next couple of months). They also have to schedule an official biopsy, since Carroll only did a "brushing" of the tumor. March 1st, Mom will head in to Howard to go over the plan once more (with the biopsy done by then) and hopefully, HOPEFULLY, they can start the radiation and chemo. It's been frustrating for her-just lots and lots of meetings, but still waiting for actions to be taken. So yeah...just a lot of hurry up...and wait. I think it's also been stressful because it is now becoming more of a reality that she might not be there for the birth of Cameron (ironic if we're both in the hospital at the same time). She is so upset over this prospect, as well as not being there for Collin's first birthday...I told her that it's more important that she's there for all his other birthday too, but I understand-she loves being a Grammy, and that little boy means the world to her.
Sorry this post is a little down right now...it's been a frustrating day for all...but we know God is good, and that He is at work every day.
Prayer requests today:
-That the biopsy can be scheduled very soon (and maybe some help with a ride or childcare)
-That Mom's strength and energy will continue through everything
-That Collin experiences less pain and discomfort during the teething process
-That my back pain continues to lesson (especially when I have to carry him)
-That I pass my 3 hour glucose tolerance test
-That my third trimester goes well (and no bed rest!)
-That somehow Mom's surgery might not interfere with Collin's birthday, or Cam's birth (or if it does, that she has peace about it)
For we walk by faith and not by sight has new meaning on days like this. There are 2 ways to look at that verse. We may not be able to see what the future holds but it does not matter b/c we walk by faith. Another way to look at that verse is to remember that no matter what we see in front of us, it does not scare us b/c we don't trust in what we see- we walk by faith. I learned that when I was facing my cancer scare.
ReplyDeleteI was praying for your Mom on my way home from school today and thought about GRACE. It is never there until we are in the very moment we need it and not a minute earlier...but it is always there and in abundance.That is why the future is sometimes a bit overwhelming...b/c we are looking at it without God's grace. When the real moment comes..His grace is always there.
You are in His grip! Love you all-Deb Trail
Never apologize for seeming down.
ReplyDeleteThis should be a place for you to post the reality of dealing with cancer, even when it gets frustrating or scary or ugly.
We're here to help hold your family and we won't know what you need if you sugar coat it.
I thank you for keeping us up on your mom. Whether you are down or up. I am praying that this biopsy Friday will reveal a miracle. Peace to you today.
ReplyDelete